Madonna Says More Things That No One Wants to Hear

"It's pulp fiction. It's not very sexy, maybe for someone who has never had sex before. I kept waiting for something exciting and crazy to happen in that red room thing, and I was like, 'Hmm, a lot of spanking.' I also thought, 'This is so unrealistic because no guy goes down on a girl that much.' I'm sorry, but no one eats p---- as much as the guy in that book."

--Madonna discusses the ridiculous tale that is "50 Shades of Grey," make us all feel real weird.

It's just ... Madonna, honey, you're going to have to stop. We get that you're into sex and sex-related things, and that's great, it really is. You can be into whatever you want to be into, and we're so happy for you about it. But we don't need to hear about it like this. We don't need to see pictures or sketches, we don't need to hear you talk about spanking and, oh god, "going down." It's just not necessary or good or even remotely tolerable.