1. The Professional Beer Pong Player
For this person, beer pong is not a game. It’s a way of life. Their heart beats to the splash of the Ping-Pong ball. They hold everyone strictly to “house rules” and they will probably yell at you.
(Or “Beirut,” calm down.)
2. The One Who Dressed Weird for No Reason
Maybe he’s wearing a fake beard, a wig, a cape, or a very special hat. Maybe he even rented a gorilla suit. Thing is, it’s not Halloween. It’s not even a theme party (which, in college, is rare). And nobody really knows why he’s doing this. “Party time” is reason enough.
3. Deep Convo Spiraler
Are you ready to get real? Because this person is drunk and just took Philosophy 101 so get ready for some truth bombs. And if you don’t like truth bombs, better hide in the bathroom because the minimum time on this conversation is five hours.
4. The One Who Awkwardly Hits on Everyone
Not unlike the guy who hands out breadsticks at the Olive Garden, this one is making the rounds and he/she will find you.
5. The Scavenger
Nothing in the kitchen is safe from drunk people. Nope. Not even that.
6. Overdressed Fancies
Obviously, everyone should wear whatever they want. But 5-inch heels seem like an odd choice for an unfinished basement where everyone is drinking Everclear and Kool-Aid out of plastic cups.
7. The Scallywag
If someone passes out at a party, there’s never a question in anyone’s mind as to what should be drawn on their face. It’s gonna be a penis. Every time.
Rest assured, these are the same people who build snow penises on the quad.
8. The Drunk Paparazzo
This one cannot let a single party moment go by undocumented. Once these photos are posted, everyone’s gonna FOMO so hard.
9. The Aggressive Shot Pusher
Yes, yes, we’ve all heard the song. No, please don’t start singing it. Fine, fine, we’ll all take a shot as long as you stop yelling.
10. The Marijuana Crusader
Marijuana Crusader discreetly assembles his marijuana crew to go to the designated marijuana area to smoke marijuana.
11. The Sleeper
The Sleeper just got a lil’ tuckered out. But right after this nap it’s back to partying. Possibly with a penis drawn on the face.
12. The Playlist Hijacker
The Playlist Hijacker is a control freak ready to take this party to the next level, so climb aboard their spaceship of sweet jams.
13. The Singer
The Singer is belting out today’s hottest top 40 hits whether you like it or not. Either that or instigating a Radiohead singalong. Have you ever heard 20 drunk peoplescreaming the lyrics of “Karma Police”? Oh, you have? I’m so sorry.
14. The Antisocial Couple
Nothing sets the mood for an intimate, romantic date like 50 other people spilling beer on you while you ignore them.
16. The One Who Could Puke at Any Second
There’s always that one person who’s not looking too good.
17. The Creative Drinker
The Creative Drinker doesn’t need cups. Just give them the bottle and get out of the way.
18. The People That Tell Everyone They Want to Dance
Whether there’s dancing or not, they will let you know that they want to dance. Probably more than once. “We wanna dance!” they’ll say. And then someone is supposed to do something about that.
Dr Okhue Iboi The witches and wizards in Nigeria are not happy with Islamist militant sect Boko Haram. The Sun reports that an emergency meeting was held at Afuze, Edo over the challenges facing the country, especially the nation’s security. In an interview with the publication, the leader and spokesman for Witches and Wizards Association of Nigeria (WITZAN), Dr. Okhue Iboi said the emergency meeting was to discuss a way forward. “Witches and Wizards in Nigeria are deeply worried by what is going on in the country especially Boko Haram insurgency. As stakeholders in the Nigerian project, we can no longer afford to fold our hands while the nation burns. Enough is enough” Iboi said at the event. According to Iboi, it was witches and wizards from Borno, Adamawa and Yobe that urged the association to have the meeting. He said the bi-annual meeting of the association was scheduled to be held in the first week of October, but because of the sect “our fellow brothers and sisters from the these three North eastern states” pleaded for the emergency meeting, to “help cage Shekau and his blood-thirsty lieutenants.” The 55-year-old also said the days of Shekau are numbered and he will be captured before the end of December, as well as paraded on the streets of Abuja and Maiduguri for the world to see. And for the parents of the missing school girls, he says they should smile as “those girls are coming back home. They will be rescued.” If you are in doubt of their power, don’t be, because Iboi says all their revelations will come to pass as it did with the 2011 general elections when they told Ibrahim Babaginda and Atiku Abubakar not to contest against President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan. Other revelations by Iboi include the Emir of Kano Sanusi Lamido Sanusi should not rejoice yet, Governor Adams Oshiomole is standing on a shaky ground,Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu will be disgraced and President Jonathan will win the 2015 elections.