So let’s say you’re a housebound hobbit who never leaves your mom’s basement, but desperately wants to have sex with a vagina without your mom knowing.
She might suspect something when you get a package from SexToyz.com. However she won’t ever bat an eyelash when your package from Walgreens comes. After all you’ve been sickly your entire life and she’ll just assume it’s more cough syrup or nasal spray.
Only you’ll know that the package holds the Tenga Flip Hole Black for Male Masturbation. Only the best artificial vagina mom’s credit card can buy if you’re limited to buying artificial vaginas on drugstore websites. Hellz yeah to getting laid tonight by not-your-hand.
Oh and it gets better, just check out the description on the site:
Tenga Flip Hole is designed to be the best male masturbator on the market. The Tenga Flip hole is deliberately not a simple artificial vagina – it is better. Filled with silicone ribs; nubs; gates; flaps; and pumps; the Tenga Flip Hole has an astonishing complex inside shape. Every centimeter of it has a particular function. Its flexible casing with buttons allows a total control of the stimuli. Flip Hole is the first masturbator that can open itself completely. For this reason it’s really easy to clean and to always keep it hygienic. The Tenga Flip Hole Black provides a tighter interior sleeve for a noticibly different feel from the Flip Hole White.
Ribs! Nubs! Gates! Flaps! Pumps!
This is like if a vagina met a hydraulic dam met a gated community in Florida.
And (bonus) it’s not attached to a real woman. Kiss those clingy bitches goodbye. Time to get intimate with the Tenga Flip Hole Black.
Cue the porn music.
