Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez were “officially” engaged earlier this week, and already attention has turned to the engagement ring.
The new finger furniture sitting on Berry’s left hand is predictably huge and expensive, but that’s not the best part of it: no, this ring has a story and codes. Codes, like in The Da Vinci Code, only even more tedious.
Paris-based jeweler Robert Mazlo designed the rock, and he told Us Weekly the ring “symbolizes the couple’s story.” Commence groaning now:
“The ring is textured and contains codes and symbols which you cannot see … only the person wearing it can. It’s very uncommon. The symbols and codes represent [their] story and only they can interpret it.”
Yeah, right. Anyway, Martinez reportedly told Mazlo he wanted “the most beautiful ring ever made – money was no object, and he only wanted the finest materials involved.” The finest gold, the finest emerald and the finest, er, codes? Mazlo added to Us:
“[The ring is] a one-of-a-kind piece and cannot be replaced. [It is] forged according to ancient Phoenician tradition.”
PHOENICIAN TRADITION YOU GUYS. But it gets better: Mazlo gave Martinez a 500-year-old “mystical alchemy test” to work out Berry’s favorite shapes, colors, numbers and signs (asking people for this information is so, err, 1511). Mazlo then “decoded” this data, and turned out a ring that cost “well into the five figures.” Give me strength.
No wedding plans have been confirmed yet, but if they’re half as tiresome as this guff, our eyes might collectively roll clean out of their sockets
