Saturday, October 7, 2017

Drunk Time Traveler Warns US of Coming Alien Attack

The alien invasion is set to happen next year, but the time traveler did not specify an exact date.
Casper, Wyoming is a pretty small town where not a whole lot of exciting things happen, but that all changed last week when a drunk time traveler was taken into custody by Casper police. The man was arrested for drunk in public and had a pretty convincing story about the impending alien invasion and his explanation of his time traveling abilities. Though he was not able to provide a specific date, the aliens will be arriving sometime next year and apparently alcohol contains the secrets behind time travel, which was hinted at during the end of the first Back to the Future movie when Doc throws a beer can into Mr. Fusion.


According to the police report, Bryant Johnson was approached by law enforcement for drunk and disorderly conduct and asked to speak with "the president of the town." Johnson reportedly told authorities that he wanted to warn the good people of Casper that aliens will arrive next year, and that they should leave as soon as possible. He did not give a specific date though. Police officers noted that the man had bloodshot eyes, slightly slurred speech and the smell of alcohol coming from him. He was allegedly found with a blood alcohol content level of .136 percent and was eventually taken to the Natrona County Detention Center without any other problems.

The Independent also reports that he told police officers he was only able to time travel because aliens filled his body with alcohol. He also noted that he was supposed to be transported to the year 2018, and not this year. It seems like the aliens might have botched this time travel experience and might need to go back and experiment with different types of booze. In is not clear just exactly what he was drinking, but a BAC of .136 isn't that high, which suggests some light beers, perhaps Coors Light or maybe even Miller Lite.

Strange things have been afoot as of late in America's least populous state. Just a few weeks ago in Crook County, Wyoming, not even 200 miles from Casper, the first annual Devils Tower UFO Rendezvous was held. Devils Tower, of course, is the rock formation at the center of Steven Spielberg's 1977 alien classic Close Encounters of the Third Kind, which will celebrate its 40th anniversary in November. The festival featured a parade, a costume contest and a slate of speakers that included UFO investigators, people who claim to have been abducted, and others who have studied the possibility of extraterrestrial life.

Alcohol consumption can lead to blackouts, which can possibly be seen as a form of time travel, but it's only into the future as opposed to the past like Bryant Johnson claims. Blackouts are logically followed up by hangovers and might need to be looked at a symptom of time travel from now on. Johnson did not provide how the aliens filled his body with alcohol, so don't try any drunken time travel without proper extraterrestrial supervision. The news of Johnson's time travel mission comes to us courtesy of the Independent U.K..

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